Redo Redo Redo Redo

 

As you know if you've been reading my posts, "redo" is my star word for 2026.  It's a tiny word but a huge concept.  I got to thinking this week about all the "what if's" that could lead to redos.  For example, in looking back at my high school papers, I discovered that I had been looking into art schools.  But then I met Rob and we decided to get married right after high school, so I never pursued art school.

I had been fairly involved in music in high school (playing the flute, taking lessons, entering competitions, etc.) but I dropped that when I met Rob too. I had thought about pursuing music in college.  That didn't happen either.

Are those path diversions something I could redo?  Do I want to?  I'm not sure.

How much of the person I have become is a reflection of the person Rob saw in me?  Is that an opportunity to redo who I am apart from Rob's vision?  How much of my own self-perception is the result of comparing myself to Rob?  He was fairly charismatic. I was not. He was able to easily play almost any instrument he wanted to play.  I had to work at it.

For the first ten years or so, I was the tech guru and the copy editor.  But over time, Rob surpassed me in both areas.  He had the time to figure out the idiosyncracies of software, and he wrote prolifically. I learned what I needed to know at the moment and then moved on.  I wrote daily, but mostly just for myself.  He self-published poetry and novels.

Now, without his influence or presence for comparison, I wonder how my self-image will change.

Only time will tell, I suppose.

With God's help, I press on.