The Ongoing Struggle

My people are being destroyed because they don’t know me. Since you priests refuse to know me, I refuse to recognize you as my priests. Since you have forgotten the laws of your God, I will forget to bless your children. -Hosea 4:6 NLT

I'm quite stuck on this chapter of Hosea today. One reason is that the earlier verses describe the state of the world in terms that sound so much like today: 

There is no faithfulness, no kindness, no knowledge of God in your land. You make vows and break them; you kill and steal and commit adultery. There is violence everywhere—one murder after another. That is why your land is in mourning, and everyone is wasting away. Even the wild animals, the birds of the sky, and the fish of the sea are disappearing. -Hosea 4:1-3 NLT

In the midst of a pandemic, with murder and violence on the rise, and bees and butterflies disappearing, just to name a few, this could be now.  And Hosea puts the blame squarely on the shoulders of the church leadership. Just when I am thinking that it's those other kind of pastors that are the problem, I read this:

Don’t point your finger at someone else and try to pass the blame! My complaint, you priests, is with you. -Hosea 4:4 NLT

So I'm praying about this and asking for God to show me and help me know what I need to know, and then I open my email to find this report from Barna (an excerpt from their upcoming book Trends in Black Church):

When asked what aspects of church are enjoyable, here are the top five answers from Black Church attendees of all ages:

1. Leadership of the pastor
2. Style of preaching
3. Music style
4. Friendliness of the congregation
5. Topics preached on

I am thinking, "That's Black Church.  What about white church?" But I already know the answer as I ask.  It's pretty much the same.  Pastoral leadership is top of the list.

I remember thinking this was true back in the days when I was just a churchgoer, not a pastor.  And I remember thinking that it was tough for church members to grow in their relationship with God if the pastor was not also growing in that relationship. And now that it's me, I feel the blow of James 3:1 which says that leaders/teachers will be judged more.

My first thought is I'm not a good enough leader for this level of scrutiny and judgement. But as I write this, scripture memories flood in, as God is saying again, as God has said so many times to me before, it's not your strength that matters, it's mine.  "My grace is sufficient for you."  "Here's what I require: love mercy, do justice, walk humbly with me." "Not by might but by my Spirit." (2 Cor. 12:9, Micah 6:8, Zech. 4:6)  

And, of course, the one I always come back to:

For I hold you by your right hand—I, the Lord your God. And I say to you, ‘Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.' - Isaiah 41:13 NLT

And I remember again that this is why I collect frogs, to remember the acronymn Fully Rely On God.  This is what I preach and teach, and this is what I need to keep doing myself.  Keep walking forward.  Keep asking God for help.  Keep paying attention to the Holy Spirit's nudges.  Keep looking for Jesus who is the one who is in charge, right?  Right.

But that's so hard to do, I say again for probably the millionth time.  And God gently says, yet again, I never said it would be easy.  

And I think, ugh, that again. Yeah, yeah, I know.

And I am reminded of all the verses about God's patience with us.

Sigh. 

Thanks, God.

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Photo by Jehyun Sung on Unsplash

Photo by Jehyun Sung on Unsplash