“There was a judge in a certain city,” he said, “who neither feared God nor cared about people. A widow of that city came to him repeatedly, saying, ‘Give me justice in this dispute with my enemy.’ The judge ignored her for a while, but finally he said to himself, ‘I don’t fear God or care about people, but this woman is driving me crazy. I’m going to see that she gets justice, because she is wearing me out with her constant requests!’” -Luke 18:2-5
I preached last Sunday about wrestling, and, as these things go, I should be moving on to the text for next week, Colossians 1:11-20. But I can't seem to stop wrestling with thoughts about wrestling. We pastors do a lot of praying for people to have comfort and peace, which seems like the opposite of wrestling, but it occurs to me this morning that maybe it's not.
One reason I can't stop thinking about wrestling is Nancy. She's a character in Oliver!, the musical our local high school put on last week. I didn't talk about Nancy in last Sunday's sermon, but she's most definitely a wrestler, much like the widow in the parable Jesus told in Luke 18. Nancy wrestled with her love for a man who treated her horribly. Nancy wrestled on behalf of Oliver so that he wouldn't be mistreated, and ultimately wrestled to the death with that man she couldn't stop loving.
Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” -Genesis 32:28
It was Nancy's refusal to let go that got her killed, which isn't to say that it was Nancy's fault. Bill Sikes was the one with the uncontrollable temper and the blatant disregard for Nancy's life. But if she'd been willing to settle for things as they were, or for the direction things were going for Oliver if she didn't intercede, she might not have been murdered.
If she'd been willing to settle for the way things were. Here, again, is the paradox of what we pastor's preach. "Be thankful in all circumstances," Paul says in 1 Thessalonians 5:18. In 1 Timothy 6:6, Paul says, "But godliness with contentment is great gain." Somehow the two ideas, thankfulness and wrestling, are so much at odds and yet both so much a part of being followers of Christ, and so much a part of being people who are engaged in life. Paul himself was wrestling to spread the gospel when he wrote these words.
Maybe I can't stop thinking about wrestling because there's a wrestling match happening in my house, as you can see from my husband's post on Facebook this morning:
How do we know when to keep wrestling and when to let go? The widow didn't give up on badgering the judge until she got justice. Nancy wouldn't let go until Oliver was safe. Rob won't let go until he's free of Tramadol. Whatever the blessing is that makes things right, we keep on wrestling until we get it.
Just like Jesus. Like Nancy, he wrestled to the death, but because he was God, his death was overturned. And because he was God, his death was for us all, and obtained our grace.
Maybe it's when we are wrestling that we are most like Jesus.
Maybe that's why in a nation that is predominately Christian we do so much wrestling. We don't all agree, and we're willing to fight for our truth. We don't always fight like Jesus, though. We don't always listen or try to understand our opponent's perspective. We make judgments out of fear, and we allow ourselves to hate. We say we hate the sin and not the sinner, but in reality we have a really hard time separating the two.
So we need to keep on wrestling, and sometimes that will mean wrestling with ourselves, and with the feelings we are having that may not be ok. Hatred and anger are dangerous, and need to be addressed.
"See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no 'root of bitterness' springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled. . ." -Hebrews 12:15
So that no one fails to obtain the grace of God. Sometimes, though, maybe it's grace we're wrestling over. Somehow we feel like we need to work harder to earn it. Somehow we feel like it's ours to dole out. But we don't, and it isn't. Jesus wrestled with death so that grace would free to all.
Whether we're wrestling with God or with someone or something else, we need to make sure God is part of the conversation. And if our opponent is willing to die for whatever it is they're wrestling over, we ought to listen seriously and carefully.
Is it possible to have comfort, peace, gratitude or contentment in the midst of our wrestling? I think it is, but it's hard to explain. At the core, I think it's hope that drives us to wrestle, and it's hope that brings us peace and thankfulness, when it's hope that's based on trusting Jesus and listening to the Holy Spirit. Because another thing we pastors pray for, and sometimes even out loud in our worship services, is for the Spirit to stir us up. I sometimes hesitate to say those words, because they're a call to wrestle with the things that aren't the way they could be or the way they will be after we let God lead us into our wrestling matches.
So let's wrestle. Prayfully, carefully, courageously. And let's not let go until God blesses us.
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