March 1987--As I was eating lunch today I had a great revelation about life--it's bananas! Yes, that long skinny yellow fruit that fits so nicely in a brown paper sack next to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is the epitome in my mind of all that life embodies.
There are millions of examples. Driving, for one, (especially in Southern California) is bananas. When you're late for work and most need to hurry to make up for lost time, you're stuck in the middle of an ocean of immovable cars. But when you've got all the time in the world and want to slow down and enjoy it, you get blown off the road by speeding maniacs who probably don't even know how to drive. Isn't that bananas?
Or at work, when the phone is ringing off the hook, three people decide that you're the only one who can help them with their job. Then the air conditioner decides to take a vacation, and the computer is trying to invent a new language. That's when the boss comes storming in to your office demanding to know why you're not working on his assignment (which isn't even due until next Tuesday!) It's bananas!
People can be so bananas. There's a man in my neighborhood who has two little grungy poodles. He only walks them once a day, but he has to do it at exactly the same time that I've brought out my dog--who loves to play with poodles. Or there's the lady at church whose six-month-old baby sleeps as quiet as a mouse in a crowd of chattering people, but screams at the top of his lungs in the middle of a deathly quiet church service. She says, "That's ok, junior." It's not ok! And she's bananas!
Ok, so maybe the whole world isn't bananas--just most of the part that I encounter. But I can handle it. I just imagine these people in big smooth yellow suits with long brown hats on their heads who, when they go to sit down, get big brown bruises on their rear-ends. Now that's bananas!